Because I Was Bored
by BemmyBean
Summary: Random drabbles from various series. Mostly crossovers. And all because I have to much sugar.
1. Admiral Xander

**BtVS/One Piece**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

'_Goddamn Snyder' _Xander thought viciously. Instead of his and the rest of the Scoobies first completely stress free day off from monster slaying and they had been saddled with a bunch of kids that they had chaperone from house to house. And that is why he was stuck in this costume shop looking for a cheap costume so Snyder wouldn't give him detention for the rest of his life.

He looked through the costumes that lined the clothes racks and props that filled the shelves. Buffy and Willow were off to the side as his blonde haired crush admired a dress of a 17th century noblewoman. _'Probably for Angel'_ he sighed. What did captain hair-gel have that he didn't? Other than his lack of personality.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he nearly jumped a foot into the air when a voice with a distinct British accent appeared behind him "Can I help you young man?"

Xander chuckled as he looked at the shop's owner "Uh, I was looking for a gun so I could go as a soldier. But you didn't have any guns left so now I'm just looking for something cheap."

The man smiled pleasantly "I have exactly what you need." He led Xander to the counter and went into the back room and came out with a strange assortment of clothes "This costume was originally meant for a costume store that specialized in cosplay, but I received it by accident. No one else had any interest it so I don't see why I couldn't sell it to you for, say… ten dollars."

Xander happily paid the money and made his way back home. He had his costume, now he just needed to get ready for a night of candy and no vampires.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Joyce opened the door and was met by Alexander Harris in a somewhat strange costume. A flamboyant yellow striped suit with a button up shirt and purple tie, white shoes, and some sort of Navy coat draped over his shoulders. She happily greeted him "Well hello there Xander" and asked the obvious question "who are you supposed to be?"

He grinned and answered simply "Borsalino."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Borsalino, more commonly known by his marine alias Admiral Kizaru, looked around at the strange surroundings. Unfamiliar and strange monsters running around would have caused people to question their sanity, but the admiral just smiled his whimsical smile "Well this is straaaanngee. This place is pretty scary."

Just as calmly he glowed with a yellow light and disappeared in a beam that shot forward, bouncing off windows as he traveled around the strange town. Meanwhile a red headed girl ran to where she thought her Xander-shaped friend would be "Huh, but I thought…" She groaned in frustration "Okay then I'll just find Buffy and then find Xander later. Oh I hope he's okay" she said in worry.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Spike looked around at the various monsters that ran through the streets causing chaos. He put on his game face and smiled happily "Well, this is just neat."

**XXXXXXXXX**

Borsalino looked down at the pirate. The man was ridiculously stereotypical for a pirate, eyepatch, bandana, earrings; it was kind of insulting that an admiral was the only one around to deal with this kind of trash but it had to be done. He smiled at the growling, smirking pirate who said "Arr, look at this bloke dressed up in his fancy suit. How 'bout you give it over before I run ye' through."

The admiral just kept smiling "Wow, your pretty scary."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

He looked down at the group. The red head and the girl in the fancy dress looked familiar and the two wearing leather with gelled hair made him angry for some reason that was lost to him. The blonde one was approaching the dressing wearing so he decided he should probably get involved. Plus he was bored.

A flash of yellow light brought everyone's attention to the smirking yellow suited admiral. Spike grinned "Well if it isn't the Slayer's little sidekick." He looked at the terrified Slayer and then at the transformed Xander "Might as well have a little snack."

Borsalino just kept grinning "Have you ever been kicked at the speed of light?"

Everybody looked at him in confusion as Spike's eyebrows shot up his brow "What?"

The glowing leg crashed into Spike's head and propelled him through the wall of the warehouse and out the adjacent wall. The other transformed monsters looked at the destroyed wall and hightailed it the hell out there. The members of the Scooby gang just stared at Borsalino in shock. The questions they wanted to ask were stopped as the wave magic freed everyone from their costumes. The teenager who was an admiral for a night made his way home in a daze.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"You tried to fight my shiny kitten" Drusilla said airily as she looked at the bandaged form of her lover. Spike growled in response, or at least he tried to. Most of his bones were shattered and his skull was nearly turned into mush. If not for a vampire's natural durability and healing he would already be dead.

Drusilla just kept smiling "My kitten is so shiny now. Like a pillar of light."

**XXXXXXXXX**

"Oh man what vampire punched me in the face and where was Buffy when you need her" Xander moaned as he pushed himself out of his bed clutching his head. He had memories from last night, but they were blurry. He looked towards his open bathroom door and forced himself to move towards it. Suddenly he felt like he was being compressed as he shot towards the bathroom as a beam of light. He bounced off his mirror and hit the wall in his human form. As he slid down the wall he said the only thing he could.

"That's not normal."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"G-man we need to talk" He said desperately as he followed the librarian around the library.

"How many times have I told you not to call me that Xander" the irate Englishman said as he continued to stack books.

"This is serious" he continued to plead desperately.

Giles stopped in front one of the tables and slammed the box of books down onto it. He turned to face Xander with a look of annoyance on his face "What could possibly be so important that must interrupt me while I am working."

The teenager pulled out the axe he had been carrying under his shirt and sliced off his hand. Giles looked at his in shock "XANDER WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!"

Xander just stood calmly as the hand broke down into particles of light and rebuilt itself at his wrist. Giles looked at the hand in bewilderment.

"That's not normal."

"That's what I said."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Fool, no weapon forged can hurt me" the Judge said as he stared at the Scooby Gang, Drusilla and Angelus at his back.

Xander just smirked "Pretty sure light isn't forged." He pointed his finger right at the Judge and thin beam of light shot out. Judge couldn't do anything as the light hit him and he was torn to pieces by the explosive light.

**XXXXXXXXX**

"Anybody ever tell you that suit you're wearing makes you look gay?"

"Anybody ever tell you that dress you are wearing makes you look like a slut?"

Xander smiled at the glaring hell-goddess across from him. After he _dealt_ with Angelus his association with the Scoobies had been chilly at best. He rarely talked to them save for Cordy and the new girl Faith. The only time they really interacted is when Giles called him in to deal with a big bad. Otherwise he spent most of his time hunting demons and vamps. Occasionally in L.A. with Angel funnily enough; the guy he killed was the one he ended up hanging with most.

But it was big bad time again and he had to save their asses. He had already saved Dawn now he just needed to deal with blonde while the other blonde glared at his back "What are you doing here Xander."

He looked at the petite Slayer "Just saving your ass."

"Hey asshole I'm over here" the dress wearing goddess said.

Xander looked at her and smiled "Have you ever been kicked at the speed of light?"

"Huh?"

Glory was thrown back through several walls and laid groaning on the ground. Rubbing her bruised forehead she pushed herself up "Was that supposed to hurt? I AM A HELL-GODDE-"

Another flash of light and another painful impact, this time to her abdomen. She was sent flying back clutching her stomach. With an angry growl she pushed herself back up "Who the hell are you!"

Particles of light formed together into the man with the yellow suit who was attacking her. He stood barely a foot in front of her as she kept trying to push herself of her knees. As he looked down at her his smile grew even bigger "Me? I'm just a yellow monkey."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Due to my computer problems I lost the nearly finished chapter of Shadow's Apprentice and half finished chapter of Naruto's Stand. Given how annoyed I was and how many ideas I have bouncing around in my skull I decided to write a couple of drabbles.**

**-Bemmybean**


	2. Soul of a Fishcake

Kisuke Urahara stared at the lounging man across from him. Already this seemed like bad idea. He wanted to be absolutely sure that Ichigo and his friends would succeed. He had called the Vizard but they were trying to remain under Soul Society's radar. So he was left with only one option; the man with a predatory grin and shining eyes.

Said man looked at the shop keeper "So you want to break into Soul Society, retrieve the sister of a high level noble who has been sentenced to the highest class of execution, and then escape while fighting off pretty much everybody in Soul Society?"

Kisuke nodded grimly.

The man just grinned even bigger "And you didn't tell me sooner. Where do I sign up?"

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Hey slipper hat, who's that guy" Ichigo said gesturing to the slumbering man who had his head propped against the gate to Soul Society. Kisuke sighed as walked over and jabbed the man with his foot.

"Whaz goin' on?" The man slurred as his eyes shot open and he scrambled to his feet. His clothing was like a shinigami's but with narrow openings making the uniform look more like a pair of pants and a shirt with an orange sash. A sword in a black sheath with a red handle capped in gold and a hexagonal gold guard was tucked neatly into the sash. A grin covered his face as he looked at the rag tag group of would be rescuers "So which one of you is the noble girl's bitch?"

Ichigo scowled "I'm not her bitch."

The man smiled back "Then how did you now I was talking to you?" Ichigo growled as the man looked around at the rag tag group "An imitation shinigami, a Quincy, a giant Mexican guy, a huge boobed ditz, and my favorite kitty." He smirked "This is gonna be more fun than I thought."

Uryu pushed his glasses up his nose "You never did say who you were."

The man rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, but didn't lose the smile "Sorry about that, Uzumaki Naruto at your service."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Uzumaki Naruto, former captain of the Eleventh Division. Although you retired 200 years ago you are still quite famous in Soul Society. Is it true that you killed a Vasto Lorde with just your shikai?" the captain of twelfth division smiled with large yellow teeth.

"Yep" the blonde man said with his own grin "The one where I tied Yamamoto's underwear to a flag pole is true too."

Uryu looked between the two in fear. One side was the insane scientist captain who seemed to be obsessed with cutting open everything that could move. The other was the unpredictable former captain (something he wasn't even aware of) who had apparently killed the most powerful kind of hollow with minimal effort.

"I must admit that I was hoping to see your zanpakuto in action" Mayuri said happily despite the tenseness that his vice-captain and the Quincy were experiencing.

Naruto's eyes flashed with anger but his grin never faltered "For someone willing to kill their own subordinates I'd be glad to show off my power." He slipped the entire sword out of his sash, sheath and all, and held it out in front of him.

"Reform, Iron Cloud!"

It seemed to melt for a second before the now liquid weapon was pulled into Naruto's hand and reformed into a simple black sphere. Mayuri looked at it in surprise and confusion "That's it. From the descriptions in the files I assumed it would be something more impressive. Oh well, I have no more interest in studying you." He shot forward with his three pronged blade, intent on finishing the ex-captain.

Clang!

The captain blinked as the sphere had been replaced with a pure black replica of Iron Cloud's sealed state. The vicious grew bigger as the mad scientist was tossed away by Naruto's superior strength. The blonde spun the blade around in his hand "Cool, right" the sword melted again and shaped itself into a revolver "a weapon that can shape itself into any form and is a perfect conduit for my spiritual power." He pulled the trigger and blast of energy ripped at the ground beneath Mayuri and sent him even farther back.

He pushed himself to his feet as watch the weapon transformed again, this time into a whip layered with energy. He retrieved his blade and sighed "I admit it was foolish of me to assume your weapon be anything but simple." His grin came back "I would be happy to experiment on you."

"Wow, thanks. I'm afraid that I'm going to have to decline." Mayuri's eyes widened as the whip became a sawn-off shotgun "Now hold still."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"I can't believe I was late for the party" Naruto groaned as Aizen, Gin, and Tosen escaped via the Negacion. Everybody else was too busy healing the injured or informing their squad to fight with him. "Is there nobody here to kick the shit out of?"

"So you're the old captain of the eleventh huh." Naruto turned and looked a giant of a man with spiked hair that ended in bells. The man lay his sword against his shoulders "I got to admit that I'm wondering whether you're as strong as they say." He smiled an insane grin. Naruto smiled right back. Soul Society was in trouble.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Bleach/Naruto**

**Man, I've got to get started on my other stories. As soon I finish a few more drabbles.**

**-Bemmybean**


	3. Two Psychics Walk Into a Police Station

Chief Karen Vick looked at the young man across from her. She placed the phone at her ear down and said "Well I just finished talking to Chief Porter. That's quite an interesting tale you had but the Chief did collaborate your story so I suppose you are free to go." She looked out at the police's psychic consultant and sighed "But if you would like to stay for awhile I'm sure we could arrange something" she said almost desperately.

The man just stood calmly "Sorry ma'am but you already have one psychic. I also need to get to Magic Beach."

She stared at him with worry "And why is that?"

"Just a feeling ma'am" he said as opened the door out of her office.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

"This is ridiculous. The guy with the weird name solves the case before I even get to work my psychic magic on it." Shawn complained as he popped more pieces of crystallized pineapple into his mouth.

"Well he did stop that mall from blowing up, so it's not really surprising that he could solve a case like this so quickly." Detective Juliet O'Hara said as she tried to finish the paperwork that the fake psychic was distracting her from.

"Plus you're just jealous of his name" Gus, Shawn's best friend and voice of reason, said.

Shawn watched the other (actual) psychic leave "Okay I admit that Odd would be a pretty awesome name."

"Told you."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Psych/Odd Thomas**

**Another chapter featuring two of my favorite psychics, even if one isn't really psychic.**

**-Bemmybean**


	4. So This Is Normal For You

"So, um, are you really a, you know…" Xander Harris asked awkwardly aware that he was staring at the doctor.

"Yes" he replied nonchalantly as continued to clean the wound on the young man's arm.

"Kind of a stupid question considering how easily you saved me" he chuckled humorlessly.

_FLASHBACK_

"_Ugh" Xander groaned as he was tossed back by a big vampire flanked by another four._

"_Easy meal boys" the big one said as the others sniggered out of either fear or stupidity._

'_Got myself into a situation and no Buffy in site' his road trip had taken him as far as Maryland, but looks like he wouldn't get the chance to explore the East Coast. He prepared for his imminent death before a nearly inaudible whistling signaled the dusting of the four fledglings._

"_What the hell!" the big one yelled. He looked around for who ever had attacked him. The whistling sound again and two stakes nailed the vampire to the ground. "Who the hell are you?"_

"_Me, I'm Batman" a stake was rammed through vampire. As he dust fell to the ground his savior sighed "I wish."_

_Xander looked at him in surprise as he man turned and said "Well looks like you're hurt. Let's get back to my office."_

_FLASHBACK_

"Deal with vampires often?" Xander said attempting to start a conversation with the man as he finished bandaging his arm.

"No. They usually know not to come to Cumberland" he said.

'_Maybe because you can kill vampires easier than Buffy' _he thought as the doctor tightened the bandage. "So will I live doc?" trying to use humor to lighten the awkwardness.

"Yeah, as long as, you know, don't try to kill that many vampires again. You also might want to try working out more. Learn how to use a weapon." He said as he wrote some things on the chart he had with him.

Xander nodded "Am I free to go?"

"Yes, but talk to Judy at the front desk. She can lend you some vampire hunting equipment."

"Thanks doc."

As Xander walked to the front desk he could help but wonder what was weirder; the gorilla flipping through the Cosmo at said desk, the twelve year old Mexican boy with the moustache cleaning his revolvers, or that his doctor was also a ninja. He was so deep in thought that he tripped over the snoozing Velociraptor in the hallway.

As the doctor yelled at "Yoshi" he thought _'God I miss the Hellmouth.'_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Dr. McNinja**

**I highly recommend the web comic Dr. McNinja by Chris Hastings. It's funny and has some cool action scenes.**

**-Bemmybean**


	5. It Runs In The Family

Eddward, more commonly referred by his nickname of "Double D", stumbled through his front door nursing the numerous bruises that covered his body. Eddy had once again come up with a scheme to make fast cash. And once again the kids of the cul-de-sac had banded together to beat the Ed's up. So all in all it was a normal day.

He sighed deeply as he pulled the post-it note off the fridge. He heated up the meager meal his parents had left him and walked to his room. Another post-it simply said for him to clean his room. Double D sighed again; he rarely actually talked to his parents. They were almost always at work so they communicated with the little notes that were chores more often than not.

Despite his rather depressing family and social life there was one thing he could always take solace in. He opened his closet and grabbed one of a series of leather bound books. His great, great granduncle's journals were horrifying in some aspects, but he still couldn't put them down. His ancestor had been a genius of immense proportion. Double D felt a certain level of kinship with him. Both were rejected by the majority, left to operate on their own. He would have loved to have met the man and discuss theories with him.

'_But that's impossible' _he thought sadly. Opening the front cover he looked at the neat, cramped signature in the top corner. _'I wish we had gotten a chance to know each other, Nathaniel Essex.'_

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Ed, Edd, and Eddy/X-Men**


	6. I Look Good In Green

"Well looks like your doomed John" Harvey said as he reclined in the module. The Hawaiian shirt clashed with the black mask and white skeletal face.

"Yes, thank you for pointing that out Harv" John Crichton said in annoyance as the module drifted through space. Separated from Moya yet again he was left in the small vehicle with no planet in sight and no company except the extremely irritating neural clone that Scorpius had left in his head. They sat in silence as John thought about the sudden arrival of a Command Carrier that he sent Moya starbursting away, the Carrier heading back to its base, and John floating out by himself.

"Uh, John, I do hate to interrupt your brooding, but what is that?" said the clone as he pointed out the green streak of light shooting through space right at them.

John grabbed the controls "I don't know and I don't want to find out." He tried to fly away but the light was already on top of them. The light shined into the cockpit blinding him. The top of the module opened but didn't depressurize. The source of the light flew closer until it was right in his face. A simple green ring.

"**John Crichton, you have shown great will."**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Farscape/Green Lantern**


	7. Xan Bell

"Oh man what the hell am I going to do?" Xander asked himself as looked around the room. Not only did the costume store not have any toy guns left, but there was nothing else in his price range except some waterproof paints that the owner had offered him and he had been stupid enough to buy.

"Think Xander think, Snyder is going to give you detention for the rest of the year if you don't think of something that you can pass off as a costume" he said as looked for some inspiration. And he found it in the old pile on manga under his bed.

He snatched the particular book out of the pile and just stared at the cover "That could work."

Grabbing the paints and an old notebook he painted the entire thing a steel gray color and then painted a seal on the front. Two triangles, one upside down, attached at the tip with four circles covering each corner and another surrounding where the two triangles connected.

Just two more lines of black paint going down from his eyes and Xander grinned "Perfect." He stared at the mirror "Okay not perfect but it's kind of a costume and it was cheap. Let's just hope Snyder sees it that way."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"What kind of costume is that Mr. Harris?" Snyder sneered.

Xander grinned "I'm a mamodo sir. A creature from a comic that featured many positive moral values for today's youth to follow."

Snyder growled but walked away. A costume was a costume and if he accepted Miss Chases cat skimpy cat costume he would have to accept Harris'. Half-assed as it maybe.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"G-MAN WE HAVE SOME MAJOR WEIRD GOING ON!" Xander yelled as he burst into the library causing the Brit to drop a box of books right on his feet.

"AH, bloody hell Xander must you come in here screaming like that, and why do you have those lines on your face" he cursed as he rubbed his sore toes.

"Not that time G-man" the teen said as he pulled a gray book out of his backpack. "Please try and read this." He practically begged as he shoved it into the Watcher's hands.

The librarian opened the book and adjusted the glasses perched on his nose. He looked through the pages "It's clearly writing of some kind but I can't make heads or tails of it. Where did you get it?"

Xander sighed "I got it last night. It's my spell book."

Giles looked at the book then at Xander "Don't take this the wrong way, but you have no aptitude for magic."

Xander didn't get a chance to answer as Buffy and Willow came through the door. Buffy's demon sense went wild and the second she saw Xander she screamed "DEMON" and charged in with a punch.

It was hard to tell what surprised Willow and Giles more. Buffy's proclamation or Xander's casual stopping of her fist.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

The Scooby Gang all stared at the brand new mamodo. Buffy spoke first "So you kept the transformation from last night, so now you're a super ripped demon."

Then it was Willow "And you have this book of really powerful spells."

Giles came last "But you can't use any of them because only your book keeper can actually read them and activate their power."

"Pretty much."

The three looked at each other "So, who get's to try out his book first."

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"So X, when do we get to try out the really big spells in the book" Faith asked.

Xander sighed and looked back at his book keeper "If we're lucky, never. We don't know what those spells do and chances are that would cause way more damage than either of us can pay for."

The Bostonian pouted but her grin came back as she spotted a group of vampires trying to sneak towards them. She nudged her mamodo partner and gestured subtly with her head "Hey Xan check it out."

He grinned right along with her "Should we surprise them."

She nodded happily and called out "Hey boys!"

The vampires, realizing they were caught, jumped out of their hiding places and charged forward. Faith just grinned wider "Like shooting fish in a barrel. **GELURA!**"

Xander's eyes flashed blue as he felt a familiar flow of power thru his body. He waved his hands forward, a blue mist of energy leaking from his fingertips and forming into thick spears of ice that shot forward and tore thru the vampires like tissue paper.

The duo stared at the destroyed landscape before them "Think we over did it?"

"Probably."

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

"Well you're pretty strong for a puny insect. You might actually be worth crushing." Glory said with a grimace as she fought to overpower the blue eyed mamodo who was holding her in place. Their hands gripped each other and their faces were inches apart.

Xander and Faith had rushed to the construction site as quickly as they could only to find their fellow Scoobies beaten to the ground. And now Xander was facing down Glory while Faith helped Willow wake up Buffy. "Wow thanks but I've got a big advantage over you" smiling as he fought to keep her from killing the girls who lay hurt behind him.

"Oh really, what's that?"

"**ALGORUR!**"

Xander's eyes glowed blue and a stream of icy blue mist blasted out of his mouth. Glory jumped back as ice covered most of her torso. You could feel the anger radiating off of her as she smashed the ice off her body.

"I'm gonna kill you nice and slow you stupid mortal piece of trash. You ruined…MY…DRESS!" She shot forward her fist cocked back intending to smash it into Xander's skull.

"**MIRUS GELURUS!**" blue mist covered the mamodo's hands as grabbed her wrist before she could kill him. Ice formed where he touched her quickly spreading over her fist and up her arm.

"Another one of your stupid ice tri-…AAHHHHH!" Glory screamed as she lost all feeling in her arm. She pulled away from him with all her strength. A sharp crack and her arm separated from her unfrozen body, leaving an icy stump where her arm had once been attached.

Xander dropped the frozen appendage and let it shatter to pieces as it hit the ground. "What's wrong? Big bad hell goddess got a little frostbite."

"YOU FUCKING INSECT!" Glory screamed in rage as she snatched a loose pole out of the building still I construction. Again she charged forward pole pointed at him. But this time he didn't dodge.

The pole ripped into the flesh under his left ribs. Glory laughed in delight as she twisted her make-shift spear "How does that feel you stupid insect?"

Xander chuckled "Great. Thanks for getting so close to me" By the time the hell goddess realized her mistake it was too late. His mist covered hand grabbed the hand on the spear and the other closed around her face. She couldn't even scream as her body froze solid. Less than a minute and she was a Glory-sicle. With a gentle push she fell back and broke into a thousand pieces. The largest piece of her left intact was the hand that still gripped the pole, snapped off at the wrist.

"How you feeling X-man?" Faith asked out of breath. Mirus Gelurus took a lot out of her.

He tenderly pulled the metal rod out of his body "Nothing that speedy demon healing can't fix." He looked for behind her for his friends but nobody was there "Where's everybody else?"

"They all ran off to save Dawn and there's no big destructive portal so I'm gonna guess that they did it."

Xander wiped the sweat of his brow and laughed "That's good. Man it is a good thing I kept my powers from Halloween."

Faith chuckled along with him "Yeah, otherwise somebody might have died."

"And Dawn would have gotten cut and a big portal would have appeared."

"Like that could ever happen."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Buffy/Zatch Bell**

**I blame this drabble on reading Zatch Bell and Night Hunter MGS's 30 Days of Xanderween.**

**I'm finishing Shadow's Apprentice I swear. I've just had a bunch of work I've had to finish for school. But I'm getting back on track for my stories.**

**-Bemmybean**


End file.
